These are all radically inappropriate. I think the first one is my favorite.
1. A dozen puppies.
2. A box of morning after pills.
3. Worm-farm starter-kit.
4. Howler-monkey mix-tape.
5. Apples from Chernobyl.
6. A slap on the back.
7. Swastika sneakers.
8. Half a cheeseburger.
9. A garbage bag full of leaves.
10. A sockful of pig iron
11. Do-it-yourself milk pasteurizer.
12. Crude heroin.
13. This isn't an item on the list, but it's an amusing anecdote anyway. When my brother Rob and I were little kids, we had no resources with which to purchase real gifts during holidays, so instead we would parcel out random kid-possessions as gifts. For Christmas I gave Rob a creased paperback, and he gave me a golf ball.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
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The best Secret Santa gift ever, which I gave to a complete stranger last year:
ReplyDelete1. Crack pipe
2. Cat toy
I still run into this guy every so often, and we continue to not be friends, but regard each other awkwardly, him wondering if I smoke crack, or think he smokes crack, or if we both smoke crack, and which of us has a crack-smoking cat.giving it. Probably not.